Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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