tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
