Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
