Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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