The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
