i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize