that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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