I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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