dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
