Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
