so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
