If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
