this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
