you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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