i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
