Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
