What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
