no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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