Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
