I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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