Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is Oprah even human
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
