kristin has been a bad kristin
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
