dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize