Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
