i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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