i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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