How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
