Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
