He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
