dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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