Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
