Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize