And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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