four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
