i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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