I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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