I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
that's an acceptable place to lick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize