I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
