Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
