called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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