I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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