btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish you could order shots online.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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