And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
