I hate your face
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize