He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
