okay pat passed out under dana's car
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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