threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
