seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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