when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can't special order awesome
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
