God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
