He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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