Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
