That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
