Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize