I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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