there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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