Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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