Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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