Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize