Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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