its not stalking. its research.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
