hotel room ftw
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
