You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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