JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize