White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
