i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
