my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
