We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
